I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize