my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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