1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
