Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize