my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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