Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
