after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
