i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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