Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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