Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Green mimosas i think yes
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
