I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
it was like eating out sand paper
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
