It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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