He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
