Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
