is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize