went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
