Screwed.edu
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
