party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
