Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
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If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
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Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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