I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
