I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
