my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
