so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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