I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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