all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
