is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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