Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
