The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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