It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
