evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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