Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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