the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Rumble strips road head = magical
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
