Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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