I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
