Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.