I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
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An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
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We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.