then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea