You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
