When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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