If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
