I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
