i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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