The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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