she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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