He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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