About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
