I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
