there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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