tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize