Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
