WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
