You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize