Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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