We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
