I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
This is my gift to your gina
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
