she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
