put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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